The Nobler Hypothesis

How we see the world matters.

Greg Rakozy, Unsplash.

A teacher of mine was fond of saying that faith isn’t sitting in a chair that isn’t there. Faith is choosing the nobler of two hypotheses. The hypotheses he was talking about had to do with two ways of relating to the world. Trump’s Deputy Chief of Staff, Steven Miller, recently summed up the first hypothesis like this:

“We live in a world…that is governed by strength, that is governed by force, that is governed by power. These are the iron laws of the world since the beginning of time.”

The polymath and mystic Tagore Rabindranath summed up the second hypothesis this way:

...love is the ultimate meaning of everything around us.
It is not a mere sentiment; it is truth; it is the joy that is at the root of all creation.”

The first hypothesis is familiar to us all, and regarded by many to be “realistic” even as its outcomes threaten all life on earth. The second hypothesis is more of a cultural outlier – obvious to mystics, meditators and microdosers, but to others it floats too high off the ground to be applicable to the “real” world.

That perception might change, however, if we validate the second hypothesis against our own experience. We just might find that, not only is it the nobler choice, but also the only choice if we want a future worth having. Here are three implications of the second hypothesis that I believe give it validation. You, of course, will come to your own conclusion:

Implication #1: If love is the ultimate meaning of everything, then love is our ultimate meaning as well.

If that’s not obvious, perhaps it should be. Just a little reflection reveals that nothing makes us feel as whole, as complete, as “at-one-with-the-world” as feeling love’s presence. Likewise, nothing makes us feel more joyless and adrift as feeling love’s absence. Clearly then, loving and being loved are core to our sense of self, to our identity.

Love is so essential to who we are, in fact, that we have a kind of homing device we call a conscience – a built-in tracking system that tells us if we’re doing the loving thing, the right thing, or not. If we are, we feel good. If we’re not, we feel bad.

True, we don’t always follow our conscience, but even then we’re still guided by love. When forgiveness gives way to vengeance, when generosity gives way to greed, love’s energy seeks to correct our course through the consequences of our actions. The retaliation we thought would solve our problem instead amplifies it. The greedy impulse we thought would satiate us instead entraps us. And so it goes until finally, like an alcoholic who has hit bottom, we get the message that we cannot truly live without love, and that we must let our conscience lead us back to our true self.

This may sound like a lack of freedom, but that’s life’s paradox. By complying with our conscience we experience not confinement, but rather joy – just as we experience the joy of breathing after holding our breath too long, or the joy of drinking water after letting our thirst run too dry. Life’s energy returns. Feelings of gratitude and goodwill swell. We feel more whole, more unified. We feel more…loving.

Implication #2: If love is the ultimate meaning of everything, then love is present everywhere – in every thing and in every situation.

At first glance this implication, too, might seem questionable – a callous claim of the comfortable few that ignores the suffering of others. It’s one thing to say “love is present everywhere” when things are going well for us, but what about in times of conflict, crisis, tragedy, loss? Where is the love in those situations?

And yet, many people who have suffered in these ways tell us love is indeed present – that it was through their suffering that they found a deep solace and a greater sense of meaning and purpose for their lives. It’s a common phenomenon psychologists call post-traumatic growth. Doors and eyes are opened, new connections are made, new communities are found, existing relationships are deepened. For some, the event that triggered their suffering even comes to be seen as a gift, something they wouldn’t go back and change even if they could, because it led them to a richer and fuller life they might not otherwise have discovered.

That people in the midst of great suffering can report such experiences should help give the rest of us confidence that love is always present, always there to catch us as we fall, even in the most trying of circumstances. But there is a caveat: To be caught we must first be willing to fall – to let go of our resistance and accept reality as it is, to surrender despite the emotional cost of doing so. Because what we’re surrendering is not ourselves, but rather the wall we’ve erected between us and reality – the reality of love.

Implication #3: If love is the ultimate meaning of everything, then love is the most powerful force in the universe.

If love is the ultimate meaning of everything, then far from being a weak or “soft” force, love is revealed as the power of evolution itself – inventive, creative, resilient, generous, intelligent, resourceful, regenerative and life giving. All qualities that, taken together, we can easily visualize as love in action — alive in ourselves at a small scale, and infinitely amplified throughout this endlessly mysterious, dynamic, and expanding universe.

To choose love, then, is to align not only with our own true nature, but with the energies of the universe itself – to swim with love’s evolutionary current, rather than enduring the frustration and futility of swimming against it. For in the end, love will have its way, sweeping us back into its flow, even if only in the moment of our death. For what is death if not the final surrender to reality, to love?

But how much more joyful and rich life would be if we were to align with love’s energy now, while we’re still alive. To let it carry us forward, as we contribute our gifts in service to this most magnificent and mysterious journey.

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So, Hypothesis #1 or Hypothesis #2? Which better aligns with your experience? Which offers a better future? Which is the nobler choice?

Here are some questions to consider – on your own or with others:

• Think of a time you felt really loved, really good about yourself and your life. How did it affect your outlook, your mood, your relationships? Then think of a time when you were feeling love’s absence in your life, and answer the same questions. Why is love so important to us?

• Can you see reality as being deeply loving? Can you entertain the idea that everything that happens in your life and in the world has the potential to connect you more deeply to love, to meaning, to life?

• How would it change your understanding of love to see it as the power behind evolution itself? What would it mean to you to swim with this evolutionary current, rather than against it? What if anything would need to change in your life?

If you’d like to share your thoughts, then please:

A quick and final note:

I’m offering free, private, two hour, online seminars for couples who would like to improve their communication skills. The seminars are based on my Difficult Conversations workshop. More information is on my website.]